University of Conversation

Happy Monday!

I hope you had an awesome Independence Day. We were blessed to have nearly my whole family with us this weekend and I was reminded once again what a gift it is to enjoy healthy relationships.

Here are some things I observed in our communication this weekend:

• Teenagers may not remember that you asked them to load the dishwasher, but they will remember, word-for-word, every line from a Saturday Night Live skit from 4 years ago.
  
• Wanna see a big crowd go suddenly silent? Serve them food.
  
• Men who let women share their point-of-view without mocking, eye rolling or condescending are just wonderful. I'm so blessed to have been raised in an environment where women's words were valued and listened to. I'm certain it shaped my life in more ways than I know.
• On the flipside, I love the way my mom and sisters have always honored their husband's ideas and input. Nothing feeds communication more positively than mutual respect and a healthy sense of "I think you're really smart!" I know that the women in my family sometimes disagree with the men in their lives, but they are careful about the way they communicate with them in public and in general, they just don't take cheap shots and I like that.
• Most people (ME!) include a lot of unnecessary details in stories and then start to cut out the fat when they realize the crowd is losing interest. This is such an interesting dynamic that I will probably write a post on it soon.
  
• Note to self: those who use words more sparingly, are listened to more intently.
  
• The best conversationalists are those who have applied themselves to the art of attentive listening.
• I am more convinced than ever that nearly all of the learning, relating and growing that we do in communication happens in the context of storytelling. Jesus really did know what He was doing with the parables.
  

Really, there's so much to be learned about communication by intentionally observing the conversations that go on around you every day. Here's a little homework assignment: tonight at whatever dinner table you find yourself, stay more quiet than usual and really watch and listen. Pay attention to body language, verbal cues, use of humor. Watch carefully when and how people share their opinions and how others respond to them. Observe the way the conversation ebbs and flows: does one person carry most of the conversational weight or is the load shared equally by the group? If you notice something interesting, come back here and share it with the group!

Fun week ahead,

Bo