Guest Post; Ah, Talking to Teenagers

This is a guest post by my friend,

<------Cassie D. There she is!

She has been speaking to the youth at our church for several years and has learned a lot in the process. I wanted her to share the biggest challenges she has run into on this adventure...and next week I will share mine.

“Can I get more house lights?”

This is a common opening phrase of many a speaker, the idea of speaking to the dark has never appealed to me much either. When the magical house light button is pushed and you suddenly realize you are speaking to a room full of teenagers panic may grip your heart and your very trusty notes all of a sudden seem obsolete.

Speaking to teenagers is definitely not for everyone and certainly not for the faint-of-heart. They sit (or should I say slouch?) in that chair staring at you. Waiting. Distracted. Half asleep. A blessed few are perched on the edge of their seats with notebook and pen in hand ready to scribble down notes of an anticipated life-changing message.

I have been speaking to teenagers for 5 years now and have a lot to learn and room for growth, but if I know anything I know that it is challenging.

Being relevant. I would like to think that because I am only a few years out of HS I can relate to students and grasp the culture they are living in. Recently I have realized I have a lot to learn. I read the covers of the tabloids at the grocery store to try and find out who is “hot” and who is “not.” I attempt to listen to the “cool” music and I try to know the names of a few well-known sports starts. However, in my speaking to teenagers all my “cool” and “hip” knowledge of these things doesn’t seem to get me too far. I still get blank stares and a few thumbs down if I mention the wrong celebrity or persona. I can’t throw in a few rad new words and expect them to jump on the train I am trying to get them on. They want more than that. Some of those things might impress some of them, but in the long run it is my belief that they want to be known. They want to see that you understand where they are. They don’t care so much if you or I know all the words to a Lady Gaga song, as long as you can some how reach into their life from the stage.

Being relational. I realize that my last couple sentences bleed right into being relational, but I guess that’s how it works. Teenagers want to be know, they also don’t want to feel like they are at school again. They see 4-6 teachers a day, they don’t need or want to come to church and feel like the person on the platform is speaking down to them. I remember a time I saw a girl sitting off to the right side of the stage, all alone. She was wearing all black, her hair had gone through a lot to become the shade of blue-ish-black it was. She had piercing I had to tilt my head at to try and figure out. She was not someone I would have been friends with in HS and there I was standing on a stage trying to relate to her! Teenagers LOVE being known by name. If I have an illustration I am using to convey a point, I try really hard to say “Jake, you are the guy in this story….” Or “Sarah you know what I am talking about….” I never want to expose a students life from up front, but if I can somehow get them into my story or on the train of thought I want them on, they know I can relate with them. My favorite simple thing to be relational; get off the stage.

Being riveting. Three “Rs”. Riveting. Captivating. Attention-grabbing. If I launched into a message and sound like a history teacher who is reading from a text book, the 6 students hiding in the back row will check out before I am done speaking the first 10 words. BEWARE; teenagers know if you are trying to hard. They can pick up on “attention getters” and they know where you are going with the “two cliffs and a cross” analogy. No matter what the students day, year or month has looked like somewhere inside of that crazy t-shirt and too much makeup face is a knowledge that coming to youth group or church is supposed to be “good” for them. If we as speakers and preachers cannot hold their attention for more than 5 minutes when we step onto stage, we should just play dodge-ball for two hours and fulfill the “be relational” part of things. Think outside the box. So much is not captivating to the average person, especially youth because of the mass media and over visual stimulating world we live in. This is probably one of the biggest challenges I have. To keep a teenagers attention for 20 minutes is a work of art that must be practiced.

Next time the lights come up and you realize you are speaking to a group of crazy-haired teenagers, don’t panic! Take a deep breath and realize they are more like you than you know. They desire to be known. Deep behind the half-asleep eyes staring at you is a heart that has a desire to hear a life-changing, world-rocking message, your message. Breathe in and out and realize that for some reason you are standing on that stage with a (half) captivated audience and the God who has not failed you yet will not leave you to change their lives alone. So, turn up the house lights and get going.